Istanbul 21 february, last news of the farm
Egazete, news of the farm,
Istanbul 21 february, lawyer and the last death blow leading to Equanimity :)
You surely remember my little farm in Turkey, which burned 5 years ago. Soon after the fire, finding myself without money, I had to sell one of the farm’s field (Moon garden) to the lawyer who was in charge of the lawsuit linked to the fire.
After hours of discussions we finally established a contract according to which he would give me 30 000 TL (the third of the field’s value), become owner of the field with the restrictions of having no right to sell it to anyone except me during 10 years. During the same 10 years, I could use the field just as if I would be owner, without having to pay any rent.
I wanted that we write a sale price for the future but the lawyer never accepted. He said many times “don’t worry Isabelle, I am not wanting to earn money with this, I am only wanting to help you and your farm, be sure of that; trust me.” What else could I do ? I did not have other choice. I signed. Keeping in my heart that I trust him, I want to trust him, even though I was not 100% tranquil. Yet I preferred to feel Trust towards him rather than suspicion. Mirror.
So, time went by. Last year I received money from the sharing of the other field, the Sun garden. Full of hope, I call the lawyer, asking him how much he would sell me the land, “my” land, the Moon garden. Our conversation quickly turned to aggressiveness. I suddenly found myself talking with a greedy man wanting double money for the purpose of inflation, rate of euro or whatever…
I decided to let time go by and go to Istanbul in February to speak with him face to face and hopefully to see this misunderstanding vanish. For me it was nothing but a misunderstanding.
It was last week, on Wednesday. First words looked warm enough to make me think it was in deed a misunderstanding, everything will be fine. However coming to the sensitive subject of the Moon garden, the lawyer became again like a different man. I could hardly believe that I was talking to the same man I talked with 4 years ago. Telling me one thing and the contrary in the same second, he did not believe what I was saying to him, he accused me of wanting to cheat him and make profits from him; and when I asked him to calculate a price to which he would accept to sell the land… he said… 140 000 turkish lira, which represents 80% of the present value. I remind you he got it 4 years ago for 30 000 liras, at 30% of the value. A big & juicy financial operation indeed! Who wants to make profit?
I felt pity.
When he was calculating (what? I dont know ! His figures are based on nothing !) His hands were shaking, his face was trembling, I could see Greed personified. Poor man. I really felt compassion at this moment.
And I understood that nothing could be done. I would have to leave the Moon garden in the hands of this man. And Durga. The big yoga shala.
The good thing showing I made progresses is that I did not fall into tears or any other emotion ; I stayed quiet, and even I was smiling. Sad for sure, sad and disappointed of losing Durga. But in the depth of my heart, convinced that “Everything is Good”.
And when I told him I want to stop this discussion and go, I shaked his hand smiling and told him “I am sure that everything took place in a marvelous manner”. And I believe it.
A bit shocked though, I walk in the streets of Istanbul for a while, towards my hotel. Difficult to calm down the mind, all the conversation turns and turns again. And something knocks at the door of the mind strongly :”Why did my positive sentences not work? The one I repeated to myself to prepare this meeting? Will injustice continue to persecute me until the end of my life? What is this?”
And I understand that the story with the lawyer was related to Ancient Seeds of life. Not to the new one I am planting now. The ancient seeds were that of the “poor Cosette, miserable victim, without money, begging and asking, but managing everything without money even rebuilding the farm”…
And I also understand that the NEW seeds will grow soon, maybe sooner than I think.
I just had to get rid of the old seeds and their sprouts.
This confirms also that my time in Turkey is coming to an end. I feel this since one year now, whatever I can do, the Yunus Emre farm will not recover from fire. And now the lawyer’s last death blow finishes off…
Ego is sad and disappointed of losing his field and the money represented by the field . Most of all sad of losing Durga, the big yoga shala.
I keep repeating to myself that EVERYTHING IS OK, simply because IT IS.
The next day I feel Equanimity in me and write this little text :
Equanimity : (mysterious dialog )
There is no just nor unjust, no wrong, nor right, no good, nor bad ;
Whatever happens is but what has to happen;
Stay witness, that is your very duty; witness of everything; witness;
The lawyer is nothing but the instrument of the divine law; he played his role for you; you may thank him; thanks to him you evolve on the path of equanimity and detachment;
In the Truth, this little farm does not belong to you ! Nor does it belong to the lawyer ! So why holding onto it ? Why becoming angry ?
You think you lose a lot of money, instead you win inside of yourself, an incalculable wealth ; that of moving through the events without being affected;
Yes, without being affected;
For the tiny waves which show at the surface of your heart are nothing but ego’s emotions, ego is still grasping, wants to correct, undo, redo, keep, hold…
Instead, there is nothing to do but Letting Go… and only then things will become fluid …
And you know ego will let go, very soon, a few hours maybe, a few minutes…
There is no hurry, keep witnessing and feel the inner changes;
You have seen the lawyer’s energy changing : from an seemingly gentle man, he became an ugly snake, as well as unstable psychopath ; he promised not to charge with rental, yet he added more than sixty thousand liras for your using of the land; this man is nothing but a caricature; he tells you are lying to him; instead he is lying to you; he says you are not trusting him, instead he is not trusting you; there is nothing to understand except that the way he describes you, is the way He Is; mirror;
So just feel compassion and forgiveness;
Even better, Thank him because he helps you to let go the farm ;
For you know your life continues somewhere else; since one year you know that you have to go back to your country; and be trustful, I will help you.
Shanti, peace, love.